Why I’m ageing backwards

Posted June 22, 2011

Why I’m ageing backwards

I’ve decided to age backwards like Benjamin Button. Why? Because I was recently told that “fifty is our cut off”.

I’d just written a tongue-in-cheek piece for a magazine about a bickering couple (hubby and me), how misunderstandings can arise when men and women perceive the same situation in different ways.  All very funny and covering a universal theme. I honestly didn’t think that age would even come into it. Turns out I was wrong. Apparenty I’m a bit old to be writing about this kind of stuff.

But couples don’t mysteriously fade away as they enter their fifties. We don’t suddenly self-combust. We’re not programmed to ‘expire’ like the replicants in Blade Runner. We don’t get corralled into a special fifties only enclosure where we are stripped of all our contemporary music, clothes and magazines. Although I suspect that some would welcome any of these as an ideal baby boomer solution.

This is terrible news for me because I’ve always been a late bloomer. There I was happily moseying along, thinking that the best part of my life was just getting started.  So to find that my path is now “cut off” is a huge inconvenience. That’s why I’m adopting my ageing backwards policy. At least that way I’ll still be able to wear, talk about, listen to and read anything I want.

And maybe when I hit thirty (again!) in my parallel age dimension I’ll be allowed to write about our experiences as a married couple. Mind you, assuming my husband continues to age forwards, he’ll be in his seventies by then. Perfect! I’ll write about my sugar daddy syndrome.


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