I only wanted to buy some loungewear

Posted November 24, 2015

I only wanted to buy some loungewear

I’m into the Danish concept of hygge (pronounced hoo-ga, the word translates into English as cosiness). For me it’s about lighting candles, snuggling up to my husband in front of the fire, sipping good red wine.

Of course you can’t experience the full hygge vibe unless you’re wearing warm, relaxed clothing.The problem is that my wardrobe is bulging with Nordic-inspired loungewear but my husband has none. Previous suggestions that he should get some too were met with a growled response along the lines of who wants to sit in their own house like a bloody ‘Hoodie’? Anyway, ignoring his ill-conceived wishes, as I normally do, I spotted a mens range in Marks and Spencer I was sure would suit him perfectly. 

I took pictures on my phone. I thought I could forward them to him and he could choose there and then what he wanted. Quicker and easier than fumbling in my bag for my glasses in order to read the tiny style number on the label, jotting the information down, then going through the palaver of ordering online later. 

I was about to send the pictures - no doubt for his instant disapproval - when a security guard appeared at my shoulder.  He told me that taking photographs in the store wasn’t permitted. What? Not even a selfie? Good luck with trying to enforce that one!

I must have looked baffled. “It’s for security reasons,” he explained. “We can’t have people going around taking pictures of things." He lowered his voice as if he was letting me in on a state secret. "We don’t know what they could be used for.” If he’d checked my camera (for one alarming moment I thought he actually would), he’d have seen that the things I’d photographed were a jersey top and a pair of flannel checked pyjama bottoms.

Terror pyjamas? That’s a new one on me. Then again, perhaps this security guard knows something that I don’t know. Could he have insider knowledge that Isis have ditched their black uniformed attire in favour of soft fleece and red tartan? 

The reality was that he just wanted to make his collar for the day and I was an easy target. Meanwhile, as he focussed his full attention on me, the coast was clear for shoplifters to take their pick of thermal long johns, slippers, bobble hats and novelty Christmas jumpers (although even shoplifters might spurn anything featuring lurid snowmen, reindeer, Santas or penguins). 

The whole experience left me smarting with indignation. I’d walked into the store with the innocent intention of buying my husband some cosy loungewear. I walked out feeling like a hygge criminal.

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