Breast intentions

Posted April 08, 2011

Breast intentions

I was a skinny teenager with gangly legs and a flat chest. When other girls were sporting padded bras I was still in vest tops. On the occasion that I did eventually get my first bra my aunt said I resembled “two fried eggs in a hankie.” That didn’t do much for my confidence at the time.

At school, the boys were interested in girls with a bit more up top. So that ruled me out. And yet it never crossed my mind to try to alter my appearance in order to conform. Unlike a growing number of young women these days, I didn’t resort to cosmetic enhancement to increase my bust size. It wasn’t available then.  So I had no option but to work through my adolescent anxieties.

I did so by discovering alternative role models - women like Bianca Jagger. Her breasts were small and pert too but she managed to look unbelievably cool. She had perfected the mannish jacket and no bra look way before Kate Moss.

And then in middle age, after decades of getting used to my boyish shape, I suddenly developed a bust. I swear to god it just appeared overnight!  I was never a cleavage girl and didn’t know what to do with it. All that jiggling as I ran for a bus was totally alien to me. It is now five years down the line and I’m still trying to get used to having boobs.

My point is that nature takes its own course. It’s ironic that you spend your young life dreaming of a bigger cleavage and your mid-life years wishing you could return to being lithe and flat as a pancake. As all those young girls forking out on pointless surgery will eventually discover.

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