Quantitative sleazing

Posted August 06, 2009

Quantitative sleazing

When talk turns to the economy I’m tempted to cover my ears with my hands and go “La, la, la, la” because it all sounds quite complicated.

So, I can’t say that I have followed the twists and turns of the recent financial crisis facing the country that closely. However, some things did trickle through to my consciousness – we are in a recession, we’ve got huge debts and our banks keep running out of money. Even I can grasp that this is not a good combination.

In fact, a few months back, things seemed so grave that there was talk of politicians having to forgo their summer holidays, roll their sleeves up and work around the clock in order to sort things out and get the country back on track.  The banks couldn’t possibly keep operating as they had, so new operating processes (Gordon Brown’s idea, he’s keen on processes) would have to be put in place to ensure that such a disaster couldn’t happen again. What a relief, I thought. I can stop worrying my pretty little head unduly.

So, what’s happened since then? Well, our politicians are now off on their holidays which must surely be a sign that the crisis is over. Even Gordon is taking a short break in the Lake District and will also fit in a week’s voluntary work, possibly with disadvantaged children. Aaah, that’s such a nice distraction, I mean, gesture.

The banks still seem to be running out of money but we’ve got that covered. That’s because we’ve figured out how to create money out of thin air. I think I heard it called quantitative sleazing which is a bit like the emperor’s new clothes, only with cash. We’re about to sink another £25bn into the economy because the initial £150bn set aside just didn’t seem to do the trick. That seems like a lot of imaginary money to me.

Still, I guess if our politicians aren’t worried about it then I shouldn’t be either. “La, la, la, la”.

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