Balthazar, Sienna and sinister shorts

Posted August 24, 2009

Balthazar, Sienna and sinister shorts

It’s Sunday morning. I’m sitting outside a local cafe basking in the summer sun and flicking through the papers. I spot a picture of Balthazar Getty and his wife (has his dalliance with Sienna Miller now run its course or not?) out hiking together in the Hollywood hills. Oh dear. In that one picture he’s immediately gone from suave to sad. What is it with men and shorts?

Only last year he was photographed, with Sienna in tow, weaving his way through international airports looking hip in jeans, an Yves St Laurent scarf draped nonchalantly around his neck and clutching a Louis Vuitton holdall. Now he’s dressed in shapeless long shorts, a garish hooded sweatshirt and baseball cap. I know he’s only hiking but still, he could have made more of an effort on the sartorial front. Perhaps he’s missing Sienna’s effortless fashionista influence.

He’s not the only one who seems to be getting it wrong at the moment though. Jamie Hinch, paramour of Kate Moss, has recently been spotted in what looks decidedly like Kate’s very own denim cut-off shorts and leather belt combo. What appears laid back and cute on Kate takes on a decidedly weird vibe when it crosses over to male attire.

And it’s not just celebrities donning sinister shorts. Essex man is equally culpable.Take the one heading toward me now, for example. In fact, please take him as far away from me as possible. With his thickset physique, sleeveless vest and tiny shorts, he looks like a cross between Tom Selleck in his Magnum P.I. days and one of the singers from Right Said Fred. “Sausage sandwich”, says the waitress. “Indeed”, I reply before realising that she is referring to my husband’s breakfast order and not the man who has just taken a seat at the table opposite me.

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